This is a meditation with the purpose of helping you cope with the existential fear that comes with living in this time of climate change and pollution. For a moment, I take over your imagination, and guide you through a magical future landscape, in which humans no longer exist, and nature has evolved to adapt to the waste that was left behind. Whether one sees ugliness or beauty is a matter of ones internal process of dealing with the unknown. I want to be the guide into the understanding that uncertainty and fear can make way for fascination when embracing that all life is transient. In this landscape dichotomies like: good/bad, creation/destruction and natural/artificial, fade. Everything is in a permanent state of becoming something else, and we are here to witness it. How fascinating.
This thesis was the quest to overcome my inability to finish. In this year of endings it was an absolute necessity to tackle this issue, and it became even more pressing when my commissioned work turned into a disaster because of it. By analysing the traditional narrative of the hero, I learnt to understand that there is no development without struggle. The second act in a story is one of failed attempts until there are no comfortable solutions left. I took lessons from video game loading screens about how to deal with moments of waiting. Stories from a concentration camp survivor taught me that in times of dispair I have to remember what gives me meaning, and why persistance is worth it. I looked at methods to increase motivation, and learnt that sometimes in order to help yourself, you have to give yourself some tough love.